John V Ruggiero

CHAPTER ONE: WHAT IS RE-FORMING?

Think of my soul as a house. My whole life, it has been built and shaped formed into who I am today. Every thought I’ve believed, every voice I’ve listened to, every experience I've had and repeated has been part of the construction process.

But Jesus is not content to simply patch up the old house. He wants to re-form me, to completely rebuild me into His likeness. That’s why I call this a soul re-forming.

The first step in any renovation is a teardown. The old walls have to come down. The rotten boards must be removed. You can’t put a new, solid structure over what’s unstable. Spiritually, that means removing what sin, lies, fear, and the world have built into me, and letting Jesus lay a brand-new foundation.

Once the teardown is complete, the rebuilding begins. New structures are put in place. New rooms take shape. New strength is built into the framework. That’s re-forming: tearing down the old and shaping the new so my life can fully express Christ.

I Am Always Being Formed

Formation isn’t rare or special; it’s happening to me all the time. Every day, I am being shaped by what I hear, believe, and practice.

Emily learned this when she picked up a guitar for the first time. Her fingers fumbled, her timing was off, and nothing she played sounded like music. But she kept showing up every day, positioning her fingers on chords, strumming through mistakes, repeating what felt awkward until it felt natural. Months later, she didn’t have to think about where her fingers belonged. She had developed a musical ability that lived inside her, an invisible structure in her soul and body that could now express sound and beauty.

Marcus saw the same process in his body when he agreed to run a marathon. At first, even two miles left him gasping for breath. However, his steady training built a capacity he had not had before. Muscles grew stronger, lungs more efficient, stride more natural. The once-resistant body is now adapted to handling the effort. By race day, running was not just something he wanted to do; it was something he could do because it had been formed in him.

Sophia experienced forming in the kitchen. She began with strict recipes, measuring every ingredient, following each step exactly. Over time, she started to cook by instinct, adjusting flavors by taste, swapping ingredients, and creating meals from whatever she had on hand. What began as dependency on instructions became confidence and creativity.

Formation happens whether I notice it or not. The key questions are what's being built and who's building it.

The Foundation of My Formation

The most important layer of formation happens early in life. Childhood is when the foundation of who I am is built, and everything else I learn and experience builds on it.

• Jacob’s Work Ethic – Jacob grew up in a small family business where everyone was expected to pitch in. From the time he was eight, he was stocking shelves, sweeping floors, and helping customers. That early habit of steady work shaped his view of responsibility. Later, when he entered the corporate world, his ability to work hard and show initiative set him apart. His professional success was built on the foundation laid in childhood.
• Lena’s Fear of Failure – Lena’s parents meant well, but they often criticized her mistakes instead of encouraging her efforts. By the time she was a teenager, she had begun to avoid challenges because she dreaded being wrong. Even in adulthood, she found herself hesitating to take opportunities because of the early formation of fear. Every other decision in her life was made on that early foundation.
• Carlos’s Love for Learning – Carlos had a grandmother who read him Bible stories and science books, answering every “why” with patience. That consistent exposure to curiosity and discovery built a love for learning that stayed with him. As an adult, he approached both Scripture and life with the same hunger to understand, because that foundation had been set in his earliest years.

The patterns set in youth don’t stay in childhood; they become the base for all later formations in life. That is why God’s re-forming power is so important; He can go back to those foundations, tear them down, and rebuild anew.

Formed by Forces Outside of Me

Here is the truth: when it comes to my spiritual formation, I am not the potter. I am the clay. External factors influence my development. The only choice I have is who and what will form me.

Isaiah 64:8 (ESV) says:
“But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.”

Jeremiah 18:6 (ESV) records God’s words:
“O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter has done? declares the Lord. Behold, like the clay in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel.”

The good news of the gospel is that no matter who or what has formed me, the Lord can re-form me.

Sin Begins with Agreement

Sin begins not with action, but with agreement.
The moment I agree with a temptation, a lie, or a corrupt desire, something enters. I may not act on it right away, but it has begun forming. I inhale its presence. I dwell on it. I let it take root.

Sin forms by resonance, by vibrating in harmony with something inside me.
If that resonance is not interrupted, it will continue to grow. It shapes my desires. It stirs my imagination. It crafts expectations. Eventually, it compels behavior. And when I obey it, I do not just sin, I form a member.

This is why Paul says:
“Do not present your members to sin…” (Romans 6:13, NRSV).
Because the moment I do, sin uses my own formation system, my imagination, my attention, my obedience, my desires, to build a structure that resists God’s Spirit.

I Am Not Broken, I Am Formed

The enemy wants me to believe I’m broken beyond repair.
But that’s not true.

I am not simply damaged; I’ve been formed. And what was formed by sin can be re-formed by the Spirit. Every member that was built in darkness can be replaced with one that was formed in light. Every thought pattern, emotional reflex, addictive cycle, or reactive habit can be re-formed by God’s Word, Spirit, and truth.

My Story of Needing Re-Forming

I had a good childhood—no abuse, no shocking trauma—but my formation was flawed. I grew up with two core lies:

• People want to hurt me.
• I would not allow anyone to help me.

Those two lies cost me untold relationships and robbed me of relationships I could have had. As a result, I never dated in high school, college, or most of my adult life. I wanted a girlfriend more than anything, but I could never have one. That caused me to be angry all the time.

I was a Christian through all of this. On the surface, I appeared loving, but just beneath, I was seething with anger. I just wanted to be left alone. Alongside the anger, I felt shame because everyone else had someone, but I didn't. I believed I was broken.

I eventually improved enough to get married, but I had to hide the anger. If my wife ever knew the full extent of it, I feared she would leave me. So, I hid it. I could never truly share my heart with her because I carried another secret, pornography.

I thought I was broken beyond repair. I had been a Christian for over fifty years, and it hadn’t helped. My conclusion was, if being a Christian didn’t help, then nothing could. But what I really needed was re-forming.

That journey — the one that took me from living with lies, anger, shame, and hidden sin to finally finding transformation in Christ- is what this book is all about. In the introduction, I gave you a glimpse of my “happy ending.” Now, let’s go on the journey together that brought me there.